Social Media 'Modi-fied'

As a child I used to love eating Hilsa- an extremely delicious fish delicacy normally cooked with mustard sauce & revered by Bongs worldwide. However, one day mom tried to force it down my throat as she wanted me to finish my lunch quickly. Result- One of the fish’s several tiny bones got stuck in my throat, & gave way only after an hour or so of frenetic efforts. Worse, I developed a lifelong aversion towards this palatable cuisine.

There is a lesson in the above incident for ‘PM-in-waiting’ Narendra Modi & his supporters, especially those on social media. I am not sure if these numerous jokes, poems, comparisons, statistics & imaginary stories glorifying Modi & deriding the Congress scion Rahul Gandhi are the handiwork of any official Modi/BJP PR agency OR of random saffron aficionados; but I DO NOT believe it will help him increase his vote share in the 2014 Lok Sabha elections. On the contrary, such constant endeavor to force the Modi-pill down the young voter’s throat will only alienate the fence sitters away from Modi- aka my aversion towards Hilsa fish.

As the election season draws closer, Facebook, Whats app, BBM, twitter & all types of social media are getting littered with pesky Modi posts & shares. Some of them push the boundaries of absurdity, some set new benchmarks in idiot-ism, while others are utterly distasteful.

Here are few examples, with my views on them (In Orange):

SAMPLE 1: ‘SUPPOSED JOKE’

Modi, Dhoni, Rahul Gandhi & a little school girl are aboard on a plane about to crash. Unfortunately, only 3 parachutes are available.

Dhoni: “The Indian team will fall apart without me, I must live.” Takes a parachute & jumps off.

Rahul: “Mom has told me that I shall be the next PM, I must live.” Takes a parachute & jumps off.

Benevolent Modi to little girl: “Beti, you are the future of our nation, take the last parachute. I am ready to die.”

Little School Girl: “Modi uncle you can come too, that idiot Rahul jumped off with my school bag.”

My Comments: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! If this is funny so is Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag.

SAMPLE 2: ‘MODI vs. RAHUL’ COMPARISION

Parameters	Modi	Rahul
Citizenship	Indian	Italian
Religion	Hinduism	Wikipedia is Silent
Political Ideology	Cultural nationalism, Justice to all, Appeasement to none	Minority appeasement through Secularism
DOB	17/09/1950	19/06/1970 (43years youth!!)
Story	Worker to leader story	Born with a silver spoon in the mouth & a golden one up his a**s

My Comments: Reminds one of the comparisons between monocotyledon and dicotyledonous seeds taught in Grade V in school. ;)

Political Ideology	Cultural nationalism, Justice to all, Appeasement to none- Really?? Remember Gujarat 2002??	Minority appeasement through Secularism
Story	Worker to leader story- Whatever that means	Born with a silver spoon in the mouth & a golden one up his a**s- Great Language for political discourse
Religion	Hinduism	Wikipedia is Silent- So what??

SAMPLE 3: STORIES

During the Uttharakhand floods, Modi supposedly flew to the disaster torn areas in his private jet & saved 15,000 Gujarati Pilgrims.

My Comments:

• The producers of Rambo series have reportedly cast Modi as replacement to the ageing Sylvester Stallone for Rambo-V, tentatively titled Rambo- ‘First Flood’ 
• If it’s true, the act is all the more shameful. For it means he selectively saved Gujaratis & left the rest of his countrymen to die. An act fitting for an aspiring Prime minister of Gujarat…err…sorry…India is it?

SAMPLE 4: STATISTICS

‘Gujarat recorded the highest decadal agricultural growth of 10.97% during 2000-01 to 2009-10.’

My Comments: Statistics are like Bikinis, what they reveal is suggestive, but what they hide is vital.

‘Every third child in Gujarat is underweight’- Source: Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) of India.

The above examples are only the tip of the iceberg. I have come across ‘Hail Modi’, ‘Vote for #NaMo’ & ‘#NaMo as PM’ comments on comments section of online articles ranging from anything & everything from sports to music to breast enlargement therapies.

Such jingoistic hamming in favour of a leader is appalling & I have an uncanny feeling that it may cause irreversible losses to Modi in the race for Delhi next year. The youth of India is smart; especially the social media generation, & subtle indications are enough to pass on your message. Loud, jarring, obnoxious shouting is best left for inside the Parliament. 

This is the very reason why movies like ‘Rang De Basanti’ & ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’ which pass on a patriotic message through comedy, connect with the youth & set the box office cash registers ringing; while loud preachy ones like ‘Aarakshan’ & ‘Satyagraha’ fall flat!

The country is facing a deep shit today called economy; corruption & inflation are on a hitherto unknown stratosphere; & the incumbent UPA Government has proved to be inept, conniving & a bunch of thugs. It’s therefore imperative that a strong NDA led by Modi comes to power (though I would have preferred Sushma Swaraj). This would also ensure that all the power hungry, opportunistic regional parties comprising the 3^rd, 4^th & 100^th front are kept at bay.

However, Modi & BJP will not win the elections by hamming it up on Facebook or mocking Rahul Gandhi on Twitter; but by:

• Expanding their limited electoral base through people to people connect, & undertaking development & social work,

• Proving themselves to be responsible opposition (currently stalling parliament is their favorite past-time)

• Being more encompassing to other parties, & tolerant to criticism, &

• Walk the talk as far as corruption is concerned. Remember Yeddyurappa, Gadkari??

   

Trying to shove itself down the citizen’s throat will ensure an encore of 2004 & 2009 for the Bharatiya Janata Party. As Mallika Sherawat would sing seductively, “The ball is in your court (pun intended)…Narendra Ji…”